So I "follow" them regularly, and I gotta say that, so far, nothing in their footprints has caused alarm--praise God! We really do have fantastic kids who love the Lord and love us. So thankful for that. At the same time I know that we are all made of flesh and that there is so much out there that can slowly kill a family from the inside out. So Lora and I try to stay vigilant, not only in our own lives, but in Cameron's and Casey's as well.
Lately, my blatant and conspicuous parental searching has revealed that my kids--particularly my daughter, Casey (12)--have spent a great deal of time looking at pictures of, yeah it's true, cell phones. Every brand, style, make and model--flip phones, smart phones, camera phones, PDAs--you name it, they know it. And accessories too. They know about cases, headsets, chargers and adapters.
The upside is that if Casey's law aspirations don't pan out, she's got a surefire career in mobile phone sales.
A few years ago our persistent NYC (no you can't) reply was about getting a dog. I like dogs. Of course, my brother, Kenny, has a hundred-and-something pound Rottweiler that I've seen maybe twice. And that's twice too many times for me. No, I like average-sized, friendly, come-rescue-you-in-the-snow-with-a-thermos-of-hot-cocoa-type dogs. Hmm. Maybe I'll blog about that sometime.
Our schedule and lifestyle has made it impractical for us to accommodate man's best friend--at least that's what we've told ourselves. So NYC2 has been regarding cell phones. Cam and Casey knew that our initial answer would be "no." So they came prepared. They had done their homework. And we've heard every "viable" justification from surviving emergencies to being able to coordinate locations after school.
But the one that trumps them all, the motherboard of all reasons is: "Everybody else has one."
Let me say that I don't believe in being strict just for the sake of it. I'm sure we all know kids who grew up in extremely authoritarian homes yet turned out to be freaks. So, I don't totally dismiss my kids' reasoning in this case. There may be a valid point in there... somewhere.
But I'm sorry. What am I missing? A cell phone at 12 and 14? Really? I mean, seriously? There has got to be another way to address those valid points.
And what about the cons?? Who, besides me, will they be talking to? Who will they be texting? When would they be texting. Why (insert previous questions here). Yeah, I know, you can track all that stuff. But who needs another job that you have to pay to have? Not me.
I've used all the counter arguments. "I didn't get a phone until I was 21," and "You don't need one," "You have trouble keeping up with your other gadgets," etc. Once I even offered to get them one of those Firefly things that would only let them call a set of pre-determined numbers. Ha! That went over well.
The bottom line is that my kids aren't really concerned about emergencies or coordinating after school activities. They want phones because it would be cool. It would be fun. And they'd be in sync with the majority of their peers. I'm not necessarily against those things. I want my kids to have nice things and to enjoy life. I even respect the careful decision of parents who decide to allow their kids to have them. Maybe it works well for their family.
But, the only point that holds any water is that I, me, PM, we, Mike and Lora are not responsible to raise anybody else's kids. Mine can cite Johnny, Susie, Dayshon, and LaToya all day long, but God gave me watchcare over Cameron and Casey. Period. The fact that I was 21 when I got a phone, or any other explanation is moot. I know MY kids. And with that knowledge, I know, and they do too, that they are not ready.
Many of you Facebook friends provided a host of good points--for and against. Over 50 responses to the question. Thanks for your candidness. It was insightful and fun. But my kids weren't surprised by the overwhelming replies against the phones. Plus, they knew it was an exercise in futility as their mom and I usually don't budge on the NYCs. But they have good attitudes about it. I love that about them. Still, I guess they figure it never hurts to ask.
Funny how the "everybody else" argument doesn't come up when my kids happen to be blessed with something that maybe "everybody else" hasn't been.
So, for now, only two cell phones in this Baldwin house. Sigh. I doubt the world will stop spinning.
Although, I may soon be posting for advice on dog breeds.
"And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord." Ephesians 6:4
I'll come take Cam out in the Madden if you need me to MB...
ReplyDeleteAdvice = Rottweiler (of course)
If you give in on the dog, what happens to "NYC"? We did give in on the dog, eventually. Our 9 year-old, who begged the most for the dog, was very annoyed after her special wrist-watch was chewed up. She complained, "Nothing is the same since [the dog] came here." Our response..."Told you so!!" But, none of us want the dog to go. We, of course, are working on a blog entry about the journey. :)
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